At 26, I spent two weeks in Europe exploring, shopping, and experiencing Beyoncé.
At 26, I learned to enjoy the present a little bit more.
At 26, I was promoted, laid off, and then I quit.
At 26, I was confused.
I was talking to a couple of girlfriends of mine about how life’s alarm clock feels louder as black women in their late twenties.
Not just our biological clocks, but our clocks for success, love, and emotional strength. It’s like every alarm goes off as soon as midnight strikes bringing you to the coveted last three years of your twenties. Your brain goes into overdrive trying to achieve before you see that big 3.
On the Uber ride home from dinner, I thought about something.
Issa Dee was 29 in season one.
Joan Clayton was 29.
Khadijah James was also about 27/28.
If none of those clicked for you, Carrie Bradshaw was 32 in the first season.
We watch these shows. We talk about them with our friends. We see these characters mess up time and time again. We also see them win. In fact, we root for them.
We extend these fictional friends a grace we don’t extend ourselves in our late twenties.
Do you know why?
No?
Well, neither do I. But I’m working on it, lol.
I was talking to my therapist about quitting my new(er) job. I told her what I appreciated, everything that made me feel less than, and how I couldn’t afford to fail at this stage of my life.
After hearing my story for the 4th Thursday in a row, she finally said “Maybe it was just a lily pad”.
I immediately said “you ATE that”, cause she did!!! But then I wondered what it meant and how I could apply it to my life.
Lily pads.
They provide shade, keep the water cool, and protect from danger.
They are also necessary pathways.
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Accepting this job was not a mistake, it was necessary for me to learn to listen to myself. My judgment, my gut is enough.
Just like de-centering dating. It was a necessary lily pad for me to know what I wanted, the type of person I wanted, and how I wanted to show up. Cause how can I ask for a healed person, if I’m not doing the deep work to heal myself?
In the last few months, I’ve been intentional about enforcing boundaries, leaving things that don’t serve me or my brain, and seeking joy in my life today and not joy I won’t see until 7 years from now.
I’m drinking wine and dancing in my apartment to songs that soundtracked socially traumatic moments from high school. You know, reframing.
I’m not afraid of falling if it means my mental health remains intact. If only 2019 Laura could see me.
I’m realizing no one has a clue what they’re doing. No matter how confident they may look.
I’m acknowledging the pressure I put on moments takes me out of the present. (summer ‘24 is just a summer).
I’m becoming the main character I root for.
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At 27, I choose to seek joy for myself.
At 27, I’m embracing the lily pads.
stay booked, xoxo.
May’s book roundup!
This month’s featured books are “Yinka, Where is Your Husband?” and “A Love Song for Ricki Wilde”. Both were picked in my little book club for baddies lol. Each details a woman in her late twenties or early thirties on her journey to finding her purpose in this world and the love that comes along that journey.
Solid 4.5/5 for both.
love that comparison, she did indeed eat that 🤞🏽
This post warmed my soul! "I’m acknowledging the pressure I put on moments takes me out of the present." Thank you for sharing your experience Laura, it resonated with me deeply. 💖