I didn’t realize that I had dimples until I was about 22 years old.
I vividly remember being in a high school biology class doing some lesson about genetics that we inhabit from our parents and I vowed to every classmate that would listen that I didn’t have a dimple.
When, in reality, since birth dimples sat there on my face, deeper on the left side than the right.
I say all this to say that we never see ourselves as others see us. You may not be as oblivious as me but know there’s always a version of yourself that you’ll never know because it’s how people receive you.
This is a lesson I’ve recently come to understand.
Why? Well…
I have an announcement friends.
I’ve decided to re-enter the dating scene.
Unlock the dms, re-download Hinge, and openly talk about dating with my friends. Maybe saying it publicly will hold me accountable.
From first impressions, dating is very different at 27 than at 21-22. Don’t be confused, the men are not. They will look at you, get their friend to look at you, and still not make a move.
But I am different.
The way that I am received is very different. I have more assurance about myself. I understand that anyone at this point in my life is an addition more than anything. Overall, I’m a more comfortable version of myself. And that’s the problem.
I was at dinner with one of my friends last week and she asked me how dating was going. I told her that I give “unavailable.” I won’t get into how we unpacked that but I will say dating is so much easier when you’re unhealed and not in therapy because you don’t have to be self-aware.
I always thought summer love, actually, love is a strong word, summer “vibin” ( I’m so unserious) would feel like an Amerie song or a Mya music video set in NYC. But so far it feels like that wack-a-mole game where you poke your head out to see what is going on and hope you don’t get hit.
I don’t wanna say I’ve been unlucky because if I’m being honest, I don’t even have the full big toe in the pool. I have more or less the French tip in. I’m in observation mode, ya know scoping the scene as Meatball would say. I’ve been stagnant.
I like what I see, but y'all it’s so weird. Who takes dating seriously in the summer?!? Ok, me but like who else? And how do you find out?
Summer is a time of day parties, night parties, and brunches that turn into all-day functions. Is it really the time to find love? I’m not sure but follow along and see what happens but don’t follow too close cause I’m really scary actually lol.
Cue “Why Don’t We Fall In Love” by Amerie.
Stay booked, xoxo.
Authors note: Thanks for your patience in this delayed newsletter, I started a new job and had to make sure I was in my bag.
What’s keeping me booked and busy?
Current obsession: Mezcal margaritas, specifically at DUMBO house
Current read: I just finished “The Paradise Problem” by Christina Lauren and have an on & off reading rapport with “The Art of Scandal” by Regina Black
Current fixation: Orangetheory classes with Frankie. Anybody who plays Chaka Khan during a fitness class has my heart.
I would be remiss not to mention the book I read in my baddie book club (with my friends). I don’t recommend this book in the summer, but overall such a powerful read.
Our June book was Chain Gang All Stars by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah. This book paired with a phenomenal dinner at Tàn in midtown made for a great summer kickoff. Here’s what some of my friends thought of the book.
Your points on summer dating are sooo accurate. It's like people want to date and explore connections, but not too hard bc they're still on the lookout for who'll be at the next day party. Stressful, chile!